Surviving
by Willow21
Summary: Josh talks to Leo and Sam about the NSC card. Post The Crackpots and These Women
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Surviving  
Author:** Willow  
**Summary:** Leo talks to Josh after the events of the chili party.  
**Episode:** Post season 1, 'The Crackpots And These Women'  
**Characters:** Josh, Leo and Sam  
**Rating:** PG

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**Part I**

Everyone had headed home after the chili party had ended. Everyone that is except for Josh. He was sat in his office with just the desk lamp on, his feet on the windowsill while he stared out at the darkness. Normally he liked the West Wing at this time of night, when nobody else was around. It was peaceful. It gave him time to think. Tonight though he wasn't sure why he was still there, he certainly didn't want to think. The trouble was, he didn't want to go home to his empty apartment either. Maybe he should have gone out with the others and got drunk. Would that have helped?

A gentle knock on the door interrupted his thoughts. "I thought everyone had gone?" Leo asked.

Josh turned round, "They have, I was just finishing a report."

"The chili was good."

"Yeah, thanks to Zoey," Josh laughed.

"Charlie was under strict instructions to make sure that didn't happen."

"I think she won him over without too much difficulty," Josh smiled. "I thought you'd have gone, Jenny'll be worried."

"I knew you'd be here," Leo replied, avoiding the subject of his wife. He really should tell Josh and Jed what had happened, but not just yet. He studied Josh for a moment and then sat down in the visitor's chair. "I wanted to talk to you."

"Ahh." Josh looked warily at Leo, "What did I do?"

"You know what you did, Josh." Leo watched the younger man intently.

Josh had known this conversation was coming, it was why he hadn't talked to Leo before he gave the card back. "Leo, I know what you're going to say, but I've made up my mind."

"I want you to reconsider, think about it some more over the weekend."

Josh shook his head, "I've thought about nothing else all day. I can't keep it."

"I can think of two reasons why you should," Leo said, continuing quickly before Josh had time to interrupt him. "Firstly, have you thought how your friends would feel about it? Have you even talked to them?"

"I told CJ that I had the card, but that it was just me who had one," Josh said.

"What did she say?"

"She laughed at me. She pointed out that there wouldn't be any speeches for Toby or Sam to write, or any press briefings for her to give." Josh smiled a little, "She said I was sweet for worrying about it."

"But you didn't tell her you were giving it back, did you? I don't think 'sweet' is the word she'd have used then."

"Leo," Josh sighed, running his hands through his hair.

"No, Josh. Don't you think that your friends, and your mom, don't you think that if the unimaginable happened, it'd be easier for them, knowing that at least you'd be okay? For God sake, Josh, you think I'd want to leave Mallory or Jenny. It's what we do, it's part of the job."

"Then it's a part of the job I don't want."

Leo glanced at the picture of Noah next to Josh's computer. When Josh had first come to Washington Leo had promised Noah that he'd look out for him, make sure he was alright. Over the last twenty years he'd tried to keep that promise, the trouble was that Josh wasn't eighteen anymore. He looked back at Josh, who was now watching him questioningly. "Josh please, just think it over. Talk to Sam or Donna if it'll help," he really didn't know how to get through to Josh on this, maybe his friends would have more luck.

"It won't make any difference, Leo. They don't understand and I can't explain," Josh said quietly, looking down at his desk as he talked. Hell, if he wasn't comfortable discussing his reasons with Leo, how can he possibly explain them to anyone else?

"I know why you're uncomfortable with this. But the President doesn't, and he will ask."

Josh looked up at Leo, "Then tell him. Maybe _he'll_ understand."

Leo couldn't help but catch the tone of that comment. "_I_ understand, I was there. You being alive was the only thing that kept your parents going." He paused and watched Josh, remembering for a second the 9 year old boy he'd once been. "It's just......."

"What's the other reason?" Josh interrupted.

"What?"

"You said there were two reasons, so...?"

"You're not the only one who got a card," Leo said, looking seriously at Josh and then smiling. "You'd be leaving me alone with Jed Bartlet - do you know how many lectures and quizzes I'd have to sit through!"

Josh couldn't help but grin. "So you want to punish me!"

"Hey, if I have to suffer......" Leo grinned back. "Go home, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, night, Leo."

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Leo walked into the residence, knowing that he could have handled that better. He didn't know why he was surprised when Josh gave the NSC card back, but he was.

"Did you find him?"

Leo looked to his left, "I'm sorry, Sir?"

"I guessed you'd gone looking for Josh. Did you find him?" Jed asked.

"Yeah, he was in his office, I sent him home," Leo replied as he and Jed walked into the next room and sat down. "Zoey still up?"

"Nah, I sent her to bed as punishment for tampering with my chili," Jed smiled, "and don't think I don't know that Josh and Charlie were in on that as well." Jed put his drink down and looked at Leo. "What was that about tonight with Josh? Don't get me wrong, Leo, I admire the sentiment, but surely he must realize that someone would still have to run the country. I'm sure if he talked to the others he'd find that they all understand that."

"It's more complicated than that, Mr President," Leo sighed. 'Tell him,' Josh had said, but Leo wasn't sure. Jed was watching him expectantly though, so Leo began. "It goes back to when he was a kid. He was a week shy of his ninth birthday, his sister was babysitting while their parents were out at a reception, Jenny and I were there......."

"Hang on a minute, Leo, does he know you're telling me this?" Jed asked.

"Yeah, I wouldn't......."

"I'm sorry, of course you wouldn't. Go on."

Leo hesitated for a second, but then continued. "There was a fire in the kitchen. Joanie told Josh to get out and get help. He ran outside to the neighbors. They tried to get into the house, but the fire had spread so quickly and was so intense.... all they could do was stand and watch." The thought of Josh standing on the lawn watching his home burn, knowing that his sister was trapped inside, still made Leo shiver. "The fire fighters found Joanie in the kitchen, she was dead, she was only 16." Leo took a steadying breath, remembering the aftermath, the pain that a young, talented girl had died so needlessly. The shock and heartbreak for his friends and their son.

"I had no idea," Jed said quietly.

Leo's thoughts came back to the present and he looked across at Jed. "Josh feels guilty that he survived and his sister didn't. I think the thought of that happening again with his friends, well he's not happy with it."

"He must know that it wasn't his fault though, he was a kid, what could he have possibly done."

Leo was touched by Jed's obvious concern for Josh. "He knows that deep down, Sir," he replied, adding a silent, 'At least I hope he does.'

"Okay." Jed was thoughtful for a moment. "Don't push him on the NSC card, Leo. It has to be his decision."

"Yes, Mr President."

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Sam took a drink from the beer bottle and watched Josh. He'd turned up at Sam's apartment twenty minutes ago, just after everyone else had left. He obviously needed to talk about something. He'd been distant and distracted all day and Sam was a little concerned. "What's wrong?" Sam asked.

"Nothing," was Josh's unconvincing reply.

"Josh, you've been quiet all day, has something happened?"

The NSC guy had told him to tell no one, but Leo had said to talk it over with Sam or Donna, plus he'd already told CJ. "I had a meeting this morning with a guy from the NSC," he began, looking down and studying his beer bottle.

"Okay," Sam said, waiting for Josh to elaborate. When he didn't, Sam asked, "Are you in trouble for something?"

"No," Josh shook his head. "He gave me a card, with details of where to go and who to call in the event of an attack or, whatever." He watched Sam, "Leo and I are the only ones who got them."

Sam smiled and shook his head. "And that's been bothering you? I thought you'd have got one of those months ago when we first took office."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"But no one else has got one, that doesn't seem right," Josh said, sounding unsure and a little upset.

"Josh, you can be a bit dense at times you know that? Why would Toby or CJ or I get one? We craft the message, I really don't think there'd be too many speeches to write or press briefings to give. You and Leo run things, which is a scary thought I grant you," he smiled.

"Well at least CJ called me sweet and not dense," Josh complained.

Sam knew Josh too well though. "Oh God, Josh," he said "you gave it back didn't you?"

Josh looked back down at the bottle he was holding and started peeling the label off. "Yeah," he said quietly.

"Josh!" Sam sighed. "Essential people are given these cards so that the country might have some chance of rebuilding. I can't believe you didn't expect to get one. Weird as it might sound to anyone who knows you, you're an essential person." Josh didn't look up and Sam could see that he wasn't convinced. He tried a new approach. "If I'd been given one and you hadn't what would you think?"

Josh put the bottle on the table and looked across at Sam. "That's not the point and it's not the same"

"It's just the same. What about Leo, you think he shouldn't have one?"

"'Course he should."

"Then why not you? You're his deputy. You can't expect him to run things alone, none of us has your experience or clearance. He'd need you." He saw Josh smile, "What?"

"He said I'd be condemning him to a lifetime alone with Jed Bartlet and his trivia quizzes."

Sam laughed. "He has a point. Though it's not one that's likely to persuade you." He paused and considered, "You know, just 'cos you have the card doesn't mean you have to use it. Take it back and keep it in your wallet."

"Maybe."

"It's just a card," Sam said. He decided to try his final hand. "This is gonna sound really corny and, well, pathetic," he said, sounding a little embarrassed. "If a bomb, or whatever, was heading this way. Knowing that you were going at be alright, that'd be some comfort," he smiled self-consciously.

"Really?" Even though Leo had used that argument, Josh was still surprised to hear Sam confirm it.

"Yeah. Think about it. Wouldn't you feel better, knowing that Leo was going to be okay?" Sam said, then he grinned, "Of course you'd be pretty pissed as the helicopter flew off leaving you behind, knowing that if only you'd kept that stupid card."

"Leo's told me to think about it over the weekend."

"Will you?"

"Yeah," Josh replied, though Sam didn't know whether to believe him.

Part 2 >>>


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: Surviving  
Author:** Willow  
**Summary:** Josh knows what will happen if he goes to sleep.  
**Spoilers/Episode:** Post season 1, The Crackpots And These Women  
**Characters:** Josh POV  
**Rating:** PG

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**Part II**

I'm really not sure what was I suppose to think. This was my get out of jail free card. Except that I don't want it and that's why I gave it back. I thought Leo of all people would understand. I can't believe he tried to talk me into keeping it.

God I'm tired, I know I should go to bed and get some sleep but I'm scared. If I sound like an 9 year old, then that's about right, because at the moment, that's how I feel and I really thought Leo would understand that.

CJ and Sam both asked, why would they get an NSC card. Their reasoning kind of makes sense, it's just that, I don't see why my life should be worth more than theirs. I'm not a better person than they are. I haven't done anything that means I deserve to survive, instead of them.

I really should go to bed, but I know what'll happen if I go to sleep. I can hear my grandfather's voice echoing down through the years. "You can't stay awake for the rest of your life, Joshua," he use to tell me. "You have to sleep. If the nightmares come, they can't hurt you." He knew what he was talking about. I miss his wise words, spoken gently in Polish. I wonder I could still understand Polish. I still know the words, but would I understand them spoken with the correct accent? okay, my minds wandering now, I really need sleep.

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I can hear her calling me, telling me to get out. She tells me that it'll be okay, she'll put the fire out and then she'll follow me. But as I leave the kitchen and go through the den, there's a roaring sound behind me. I spin round. There are flames climbing up the wall next to the kitchen door. They're shooting across the ceiling above my head. I can't go back in there, even though I know she's there.  
The smoke is filling the downstairs now. I can't stay in here. I don't want to die. I'm scared. I have to get out. I try to run for the front door, but I stumble and fall. My eyes and throat hurt. I struggle to my feet and run to the door. It's locked. Oh God. My hands are shaking as I turn the key. I pull the handle. I run outside, across the lawn. The grass is so cold after the heat in the house.  
I hammer on the Jennings's front door, still coughing. Mrs Jennings opens the door and calls her husband. Him and his two sons run to our house. They can't get in. We stand and watch as flames shoot from the windows. I can hear screaming. I imagine it's Joanie, but it could be me. Mrs Jennings tries to make me go into her house, but I'm not going anywhere. I have to watch. I might see Joanie. I might be able to help her. The fire department arrive. An ambulance comes. I'm put in it and driven away. I want Joanie. I can't stop crying. 

I'm lying here, cold and sweating, telling myself that I'm not 9 years old, that I'm safe. That nobody's been hurt tonight. I turn the bedside lamp on. My hands are shaking. There are tears on my face. My grandfather wasn't completely correct. Nightmares can hurt you, maybe not physically, but they still hurt. I've not had one that bad since my dad died. Last night was bad, but not like this. I thought giving the card back would make me feel better. Obviously I was wrong. I have to sort this out in my head.

I'm not going to talk to Toby or Donna about the NSC. Toby would tell me I was idiot and to go away and let him work. Donna would say the same as CJ and Sam. And what about my mom? She'd drive down here, to beat the crap out of me for even thinking about giving the card back. My dad would have too. My grandfather would have understood why I did what I did. He knew what it was like to survive and to feel guilty. His eldest son, his parents, his brother, two sisters...... all his family, my family, except my grandmother and father, were killed by the Nazis. He survived. He was reunited with my grandmother a few weeks later. It took them over a year to find my father. He'd been smuggled out by friends. They'd made their way to the US. They had relatives in Connecticut and had settled there. When the war ended, they tried to find out what had happened to my grandparents, eventually, with the help of the Red Cross, they found each other. But my grandfather never understood why he survived when others didn't. But I understood. He had to look after my grandmother and my father, and me.

So he would know why I gave the card back. He wouldn't have agreed that it was the white flag of surrender though. He'd have said that lying down and dying was the surrender. Surviving was the victory. That was how you beat your enemies. By showing, that no matter what they did to you, you'd still be alive.

And what about Joanie, what would she have said? She was 16 when she died, I was 9. In truth I have no idea what she would have said. Of course she would probably be just like me and mom and dad. In which case she'd have kicked my butt and called me an idiot. On the other hand though, if she were around to yell at me for being an idiot, I wouldn't be lying here now, scared and not daring to go back to sleep.

And here we come to the heart of the matter. The real reason that being given that card by the NSC shook me up so badly. In case you haven't already guessed, let me enlighten you. I left my sister, my sister who would have done anything for me. I left her in a burning building. I left her to die, because I was scared. I don't give a shit that I was only a little kid. I don't care what Stanley says, it's not what you're suppose to do. What you're suppose to do is look out for each other. I don't know if I can be the survivor again.

Leo has a point though, I do know that. My parents both told me that there was nothing I could have done. That they thanked God that I'd done as Joanie told me and ran out of the house. If we'd both died, it would have killed my parents. Joanie's death almost did that. Even at 9 years old I could tell, I could see what it had done to them and my grandfather. They tried to act normal, but I knew. At the time it made me feel more guilty. _I'd_ done that to them. _I'd_ wanted popcorn, I hate the stuff now. _I'd_ left Joanie in the burning house......

Yes, I know I was 9 years old. I couldn't possibly have got back into the kitchen and survived. But there you have it don't you. In the weeks that followed, I didn't care. If I could have done those last few minutes of Joanie's life again, I'd have gone to her, just to be with her. Leo knows that, like he said, he was there. Him and Jenny were at the party with my parents. They were with them when the police came and told them. They went to the funeral. He knows exactly how I feel, that's why I thought he'd understand. And that's what's making me think. Maybe he does understand. Maybe that has nothing to do with this after all.

The reality is this. Giving the card back, won't bring Joanie back. She's been dead for thirty years. Maybe if I keep the card I can do some good. Not that there's ever going to be a need to use it. This is all hypothetical you understand. How many other White House staffers have had these NSC cards and how many have ever had to use them? Precisely. So here I am, loosing sleep and worrying over nothing. Perhaps I'll talk to Leo again, maybe he can convince me of that.

It's getting light now, thank God.

Part 3.....


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: Surviving  
Author:** Willow  
**Summary:** Josh finds out about Leo and Jenny and then makes a decision.  
**Spoilers/Episode:** Post season 1, The Crackpots And These Women  
**Characters:** Josh, Leo, Jenny, Mallory  
**Rating:** PG

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**Part III**

**Sunday**

Josh walked down the aisles of his local Safeway and wondered why they had to move everything around from one week to the next. He was so engrossed in studying the shelves that he didn't notice Jenny and Mallory coming the other way, until he'd run his trolley into theirs. "Sorry," he grinned.

"You were in a world of your own there, Joshua," Jenny said.

"Searching for coffee," he smiled. "How are you?"

"Fine," they both replied. "How's Leo?" Jenny asked.

Josh looked puzzled. "He's okay, why wouldn't he be?" Jenny and Mallory exchanged glances and both looked back at Josh. "What?" he asked.

"He hasn't told you?" Mal asked.

"Told me what?"

"He moved out of the house a week ago."

Josh was thrown for a minute. He'd always thought that Jenny and Leo had a good relationship. "I didn't know."

"Obviously," Jenny replied angrily. "Well you can tell him that ignoring the problem won't make it go away. If he thinks that I'll change my mind he's got another thing...."

"Mom!" Mallory interrupted, "It's not Josh's fault."

Jenny had always considered Josh's father to be Leo's buddy, the one he confided in before her. She resented that he told Noah about rehab before her, and she wondered what else Leo shared with him that she didn't know about. It was different with Jed, he was her friend as well. Now that resentment had passed onto Noah's son, whether that was fair or not doesn't really bother her. "We should be going," she said.

"I'll catch you up," Mal told her mother. "She's still angry with him," she told Josh.

"What did he do?" Josh asked.

"I don't think it was any one thing. She's been angry at him for ages, only he never noticed. Which of course made her more angry. It's work mainly I think. She says he widowed her the day you all took office."

"His job's important, he's bound to work long hours, what did she expect?"

"You're just like him you know," Mal said, but she meant it fondly. She'd always got on well with Josh and, unlike her mother, she didn't blame him for his loyalty to her father. "She's serious, Josh. She won't take him back. She was going to leave, but he told her that he'd go instead."

Josh was still trying to take this in. "When was this?"

"The day after their anniversary."

"He said they had a good night," Josh said more to himself than Mallory. "Where's he staying?"

"A suite at The Watergate," Mal replied and gave him the suite number. She suspected her father was going to be mad at her for that. "I should go and find my mom. I'll see you soon."

"Yeah, see you," Josh said. "Mal," he called as she walked away. Mal turned back to him. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine," she lied.

"Okay, I'm sorry about all this. I'll speak to you soon."

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An hour later, Josh was standing outside Leo's hotel suite, wondering whether this was his best idea ever. He knew though that he won't be able to pretend that everything was normal at work tomorrow, so he took a deep breath and knocked.

Leo opens the door, expecting to find room service. "Josh, what are you doing here?"

"I was passing."

"How'd you...? come in," Leo invited. He closed the door and followed Josh into the suite.

"I like your new place, Leo," Josh said a little sarcastically. It was a nice suite though, it was actually bigger than Josh's apartment.

"How'd you know I was here?"

"I met Mal and Jenny at the supermarket. Jenny's pretty angry by the way, although whether that's at you or me, I'm not sure." Josh sat down. "Why didn't you tell me?" he asked.

There was a knock at the door and Leo let room service in. The waiter wheeled in a trolley with tea, milk and some sandwiches on it. After he left Leo asked, "You want anything?" Josh shook his head and Leo sat back down. "I haven't told anyone, it's not that easy you know."

"I guess not," Josh agreed. "I just came over to see if you were okay, if you needed anything."

"I'm fine."

"Really?" Josh said doubtfully. "Does the President know?"

"I told you, no one knows. What did Jenny say?"

"Not much."

"Josh!"

"Leo, you know that she's serious don't you?" he asked.

"So she says."

"Okay," Josh wasn't comfortable discussing Leo's marriage with him. "You have to tell The President. If I can find out, you can be damn sure he will too."

Leo was well aware of that. The problem was that while Josh may be a little hurt that Leo didn't tell him about the break up, Jed was going to be angry about the break up itself, he thought a lot of Jenny. "You sure you don't want anything to eat or drink?"

Josh surveyed the trolley, "Cup of tea'd be good."

Leo poured two teas. "You do any thinking about the NSC?"

"I've thought about nothing else."

"And?"

"I still don't know. Although I do know that CJ's a nicer person than Sam," he smiled, "he called me dense."

"He's known you a lot longer than she has," Leo smiled. "What did he say?"

"Same as you and CJ. And he asked what I'd think if he'd got a card, but it's not the same"

"Sure it is."

"You know damn well that it isn't," Josh snapped. He ran his hand through his hair. Giving the card back was supposed to make things better, but he had had two sleepless nights because of this. He stood up, walked to the window and watched the traffic on the street below.

Leo watched Josh and sighed to himself. The President was right, he couldn't force Josh to keep the NSC card, it had to be his decision. Even so, Leo wasn't willing to give up yet. The trouble was, he really didn't know what to say.

Josh turned from the window and looked at Leo. "If I give it back, does someone else get it?"

"No," Leo replied. Although he wasn't sure if that was true, he was sure that Josh's biggest fear was of surviving instead of someone else. "There no one else can do your job Josh, who else would they give it to?"

"There's plenty people who could do my job."

"Not that the NSC are going to give a card to there isn't."

Josh turned back to the window and stared out, lost in thought. He hadn't bothered talking to Toby or Donna or even his mom, because he knew they'd say exactly the same as CJ, Leo and Sam. He knew because it was what he would say to them. But they didn't understand. Ever since the NSC agent had given him the card Ave Maria had been running through his head.

"Josh?" Leo interrupted his thoughts.

Josh turned to face Leo. "Am I being selfish?" he asked.

"Why do you think that?"

"When I think about the reasons I don't want to keep the card, they're all because of me and what I feel. It has nothing to do with my family and friends or the Government and the country."

"No, it's not selfish and I do understand your reasons. Just because you have the card doesn't mean you'll be forced onto a helicopter at gun point. You can still stay behind."

"I know."

"So?" Leo asked hopefully.

Returning the card hadn't made Josh feel any better and it certainly wasn't going to alleviate the guilt he'd felt since he was eight. Maybe if he had the card, and ever had to use it, he could do some good. "I'll take it back," he said. "But only because I can't condemn you to a lifetime of trivia quizzes and Latin."

Leo smiled, but he'd known Josh a long time, he knew that humor and sarcasm were Josh's best and most used defense mechanisms. "You sure about this?"

"On one condition."

"Go on?"

"You tell The President about you and Jenny."

"Josh, it's not that easy. He thinks the world of Jenny, and he's going to blame me for neglecting her."

"To get him elected." Josh pointed out.

"I don't think he'll see it like that, especially since that was my idea in the first place. I think he might point out that he's The President and he still finds time for Abbey."

"Who lives in the same building he works in," Josh added.

"He's still gonna be pissed," Leo said. "You want me to tell him about the card, or do you want to?"

"Did you tell him why I gave it back," Josh asked, though he wasn't sure why that was important.

"Yeah."

"What did he say?"

"That he understood and I wasn't to bully you. That it had to be your decision."

"You can tell him."

"It's the right thing to do Josh. You know that, deep down."

"Yeah," Josh agreed, sounding more certain than he feels.

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**Monday**

"Josh."

"Donna."

"The President wants to see you when you have a minute."

"When I have a minute? You mean he wants to see me now," Josh stood and walked round his desk.

"Yeah. So what have you done?" Donna asked as she followed him out of his office.

"I haven't done anything."

"Perhaps he wants to know why you were Moody Boy on Friday and Saturday."

"Moody Boy?" Josh smiled.

"You were a little, well..."

"Moody?"

"Yes."

"Why are you following me?" he asked.

"You might need something?"

"I really don't."

"Fine, I'll go and see Sam, he appreciates me."

"You could try doing some work, then I'd appreciate you." Josh smiled as Donna headed to the Communications bullpen. He walked to the Oval Office, "Morning Mrs Landingham, he wanted to see me."

"Yes, Josh, he's just finishing up. How are you today dear?"

"I'm okay thanks, you?"

"I'm fine."

"How's Charlie settling in?" Josh asked.

"I think he'll be alright now that the terror and disbelief are passing, you made a good choice there." She smiled, "Would you like a cookie?"

"Do I ever say no?" Josh grinned, taking one of the home made cookies out of the jar. He just had chance to eat it before the door to the Oval Office opened and several people filed out.

"You can go in now, dear," Mrs Landingham told him.

"Thanks for the cookie," Josh smiled and walked into the Oval Office.

Jed was sat alone on one of the couches. "Close the door, Josh, and sit down."

"Sir," Josh said and sat in a chair.

"Leo says that you've reconsidered the NSC card. Have you, or was he hoping that by telling me that, it'd force your hand?"

"As if Leo would..... no your right, he would," Josh nodded. "I have reconsidered, if that's okay?."

"Of course it is, I haven't had chance to say anything to the NSC yet," Jed told him. "Leo didn't bully you though did he?"

"No. I talked to CJ and Sam."

"What did they say?"

"CJ said I was sweet, Sam said I was dense. Which I guess goes to show who knows me better," Josh smiled. "They were right though."

"Plus, you like Leo too much to want him to have to spend a lifetime alone with me?" Jed grinned. He stood up and walked over to his desk. He opened one of the drawers and took out the NSC card with Josh's name on it. "You are sure about this?" he asked, studying Josh.

"Yes, Sir," Josh replied, not altogether truthfully. He was sure that giving the card back hadn't made him feel any better. He really wasn't sure what he was going to do if there was ever a situation where he had to use the it. But for now he was happy to cross that bridge if he ever came to it.

"Good." Jed handed the card back to Josh, who took it and put it in his pocket. "Now, Josh, there is one more thing we need discuss."

"Sir?"

"I was curious as to which part of, 'Don't let Zoey mess with my chili,' you didn't understand."

END

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